Reflecting on Leadership
Meaning cannot be measured. Yet we live immersed in a world of measurement so pervasive that even many of our religious institutions measure success, significantly, by market share.
From the landmark work of Ron Heifetz and Marty Linsky in, Leadership on the Line: Staying Alive Through the Dangers of Leading, 2002.
In this space we talk a lot about leadership, and our mission to offer coaching, peer community, support, and an honest space for Christian leaders. A significant piece of our ministry is about cultivating the practices of appropriate self-care, or stewardship of self, and providing a learning environment where these practices can thrive. It is the place where we promote Jesus’ model of servant leadership—a stance that is strongly counter-cultural in our numbers-driven culture—even in the church.
We believe deeply that Christian leadership differs widely from what most of the leadership industry defines as good leadership. There are exceptions, of course. Some of the premier business and management publications increasingly recognize that relational skills—especially emotional intelligence—are as important or more so than simply the ability to get results. We’re talking about the ability to genuinely value, respect, and appreciate others’ gifts and talents, to listen well with empathy and not to dismiss others with whom we disagree; to manage one’s own emotions and to respond appropriately to the emotions of others, to clearly communicate expectations, to encourage others’ success, and develop them as you do your work together.
This is why we use the RightPath® instruments for the accurate, scientific assessments they provide: to help individuals and teams make progress in these areas and more.
It is also why a coach who will help you practice these things in the fabric of your world makes all the difference. As we like to say, you can’t simply read a book and sort it all out from there on your own.
So what do we think leadership is?
We believe that leadership is a matter of freely giving to others what you have learned about God, his word, and his world in the context of relationships.
Doesn’t sound heroic, does it? It is not to manipulate or coerce others to do what we think needs doing, but to offer ourselves and our experience as a gift. This is done for the good of the system whatever it is—be it a family, a team, a church, or a business. Leadership understood in this way is not the provenance of only a few rare men or women. Anyone can, and should, offer this to others. That is, anyone can offer leadership in their world, and the range and variety of personalities and temperaments who do so in all kinds of contexts is exceedingly broad. Also, as a case in point, every system has informal leaders of great influence (for good and for ill!) who have as much or more influence and actual authority than those who have titles and official authority.
By this definition good leadership is first and foremost a relational skill. It is a skill that encourages optimism, hope, and aspiration. It is a skill in which one can grow as well. It is exercised with humility and love. It is leading as Jesus led: not to be served, but to serve. May I say it? Leadership is a way of loving others.
So we do not espouse the idea that leadership is merely getting others to do what we want, even if it is a noble task. Even if we are “right” and have the right to give directives. Nor do we subscribe to the notion that increased productivity is the sole and final metric for personal or organizational health.
Our coaching isn’t about that. It is about personal and organizational health—learning to give what God has given to us as a gift of love to others, for the good of the world. It is also being realistic about our limitations, so that when we’ve worked hard, we still have energy and capacity for those who matter most—our families and loved ones. That means we trust and foster interdependence among the others with us. Greater fruitfulness often results from this health, but it isn’t the goal. If what we hope for in our churches and organizations is to be considered a ”great place” we believe that can’t happen where these qualities are absent.
Last thought. Sometimes this whole subject leads folks to think,
“The issue of healthy pastors isn’t about me or for me. I care a lot about my pastor and want him to thrive in his life, family, and ministry, but it’s a bit removed from my world. I’m not sure that we need to put a portion of our limited resources toward the well-being, professional health, and development of our pastor.”
In a future post I will speak to the actual financial as well as intangible costs of unhealthy leadership, conflict, and staff turnover. If you feel a disconnect with a ministry to pastoral couples and Christian leaders, let me stress that one of the reasons for this ministry is to offer reflections that are the result of long years in the “pastor’s seat”—along with solid research.
We welcome your questions and your thoughts, and if you are in the leader’s seat—however you’re wired—we invite you to embark on a different kind of leadership journey with us. Leave a comment or email me here
