An Unfolding Story of Care
When we moved to Colorado to plant a church in Castle Rock we felt we were ready.
We’d had ten years’ experience as a pastor and spouse. Longer when we include our years in para-church ministries. We’d been assessed by Serge* and sent to spend a season as missionaries in Ireland. And a wonderful season it was. But this continued a pattern and a process, of greater awareness of “our plans/God’s plans” that meant we did not pursue long-term overseas work with the mission.
Through the church planting assessment process in our denomination we were approved to plant in Colorado after that, and I was given a coach. In all this God had been clearly preparing us. Naturally I thought we were prepared for the difficulties we would face…the reality was that we were not, and he had more preparation for us.
I met with my coach, we attended all our required Church Planter conferences and appreciated the camaraderie and practical teaching around church planting skills. These things were helpful, but still in the weekly, real-time work, while seeing numbers of people come to Christ, we were in the lonely place of leadership: we encountered strong leadership backlash, gossip and accusation, temptation, and great spiritual resistance. Now we know that these things occupy far more of our time than we anticipate when we sense the call to ministry. I sometimes coped in unhealthy ways. I look back and see that I made some some poor decisions. I was sliding into a deepening depression and discouragement.
The poorest decision I made was when, in the midst of the storms of conflict and challenge, I said to Karen, “we need to do whatever it takes so that this plant doesn’t fail”. I don’t remember whether she was just quiet or if she agreed, but subtly, without actually saying it, we put our marriage in second place after the church, yielding predictable strain and hurt in our marriage.
No surprise then that Colorado, our mission field in the late 90s, was called the graveyard of church planters. That wasn’t going to happen to us. All the while we were hearing the stories even within our thoughtful, careful denomination, of affairs, substance abuse, and failed marriages.
“I don’t have anybody to open up to about my life, my family, or my ministry. I feel like a guy who is driving over the speed limit on a narrow mountain road without barriers. It’s the grace of God I haven’t driven off.”
During this season I reached out to an older pastor I met at one of the church planter conferences who had himself been through great difficulty. Ken’s care and wisdom, his experience, affirmation, and calm were invaluable. It was probably here that I began to think that my fellow church planters and I needed more of what Ken gave to me. His care gave birth to my desire to offer it, and to set out to learn how to do it as well as possible.
That journey has brought us to today. It’s enabled me, often with Karen, to offer care that expresses God’s preparation: some extraordinary experiences, learning, and training. I hope you will stay aboard while I share the next part of this unfolding story….
*At that time Serge was named World Harvest Mission.
